Smoking: Our Most Expensive Habit

We have taken up smoking… meat.

If you know my husband you know that this man HATES getting up in the morning. I on the other hand am an early riser, breakfast is my favorite meal of the day and coffee is infused into my bloodstream. But apparently all I need to do to get his ass moving in the morning is to tell him he can smoke some meat.

So he wakes up at 9am and starts pressuring me to wake up and get ready to go to the store. I’m hungover and not wanting to but he promised Taco Bell for lunch and that he would do some “Honey Dos” that I need done around the house. So off to Kroger!

Did you know pork shoulder is expensive? Um. It is. Like. Really. I’m not sure how he is affording this since our vet forced us to buy the freaking caviar of dog food.

So we get home and marinate the meat. Then make “Xs” (no “Os” Elle fans, sorry. I’m partial to them too) on the meat. Then we stuff garlic into the skin which is beyond weird and odd looking. Logan tried to skip a few steps but I reminded him that we only “whole ass” things in this house and don’t “half ass” things.

So turns out smoking takes forever. FOREVER! I was so bored by the end I was laying upside down on the couch watching Cops and trying to figure out how to drink my wine upside down without it coming out of my nose.

After 6 hours we finally ate! Know what my husband’s favorite part was? The cabbage mashed potatoes… He walked around the house saying “oh my god” over and over while eating them from the pot.

He is officially broken.

So ladies, if you want a day to yourself and don’t mind dropping a few pennies for some alone time. Take up smoking! My husband is still in the kitchen as I write this… no joke.

The recipe will come later but for now he is still in Narnia and not responding.